Ballad of the Yellow Berets

Drifty does it again! More talent in his little finger than the whole Wurlitzer has in it's collective!


d r i f t g l a s s: For the College Republicans

(Sung to the tune of, "The Ballad of the Green Berets.")

“Ballad of The We’re Not Gay!”

Bleating wingnuts of the Right
Dastards hiding from the fight
Cellar trolls with much to say
That screech as one: “ No, we’re not gay!”

“Cheney/Bush” on their lapels
Karl Rove’s own splinter cells.
Bought a War: let others pay.
Snivelers all, but soooo not-gay.

Trained to live off Daddy’s cash
When lies don’t work, then talk some trash.
In fear they might just be “that way”
They scream real loud: “But I’m not gay!”

“Cheney/Bush” on their lapels
Karl Rove’s own splinter cells.
Who buy their Wars on lay-away.
Poltroons all, but soooo not-gay.

Back at the dorm, a girlfriend waits
A wingnut too, and six weeks late.
Daddy’s doctor snakes her tubes
‘Cause “Right to Life” is for the rubes.

Take someone else, but don’t take me.
A real man, I’ll never be.
Just like the spawn I’ll whelp one day,
Who just like me, will not be gay.

Every so often that quote from the song,Memo From Turner, bubbles up from the depths of my memory, regarding such situations:

"When the old men do the fighting,
And the young men just look on."

A simple play on words and opposite to the way things were in 1970, when the song was written but I almost always felt that this day would come. When the generation after me, I'm 43, would yield so many high-fliers, foul balls, sissies, mushrooms and basement-dwelling, Cheeto's-binging, sniveling rat-fuckers to render them ineffectual. But maybe I'm too pessimistic?

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